ADAPTING TO A CHANGING WORLD: REDEFINING BELIEFS AND IDENTITY

What happens when everything changes? What happens when connections are severed to the things we used to know? If the connection was with your favorite pair of shoes that were destroyed on a camping trip, well…there may be some frustration and dismay proportionate to the time and energy spent on finding those exact shoes in the first place, the time you spent wearing them and the memories created while wearing them and, of course, the amount of time and effort that it would cost you to replace the shoes (if they could, in fact, be satisfactorily replaced).

All of the above plays a major role in the strength of our connections to the world, the things and the people around us. We place value on the people and things we feel a strong connection with and disregard or even contempt for the things we do not feel a connection with. The loss of your favorite pair of shoes may not disrupt your entire life course in the same way that a divorce or the loss of a loved one would. In an extreme event one is shaken out of the world that he once knew, forced to create new connections and redefine old ones.

We can all bear witness to this dynamic happening in many ways throughout our lives and in the lives of others. Many of us experience a major change and the necessity of remapping and redefining our connections to the world upon coming out of adolescence and going into adulthood, or in the aftermath of a tragedy. We find that some old and long standing beliefs that we held as children will no longer serve us or keep us alive as adults. If a mother or a father is no longer present, if the safe institution of the home that we grew up in and relied on is simply no longer present, if we’re unexpectedly laid off from a long standing job or our spouse suddenly leaves us, a devastating blow is delivered to the world as we once knew it.

We question the connections we once had because the logic or the foundation those connections were built on in the first place has already crumbled. Mom and Dad will always be there to take care of me is a belief that we’re forced to revisit and redefine when mom and dad pass away, or can no longer provide for us. My hard work and determination will be rewarded with big wins is a belief we’ll have to reckon with when, in spite of our hard work, wins do not come. My wife would never cheat on me is another belief we may just have to revisit. And imagine… When a man is overly confident in his sexual prowess but then has to face rejection from women and come to terms with that is a common scenario for many. It turns out the map that we had once created of the world is terribly flawed and inaccurate, and everything we once thought we knew is incorrect.

Whether in small or large ways, we’re forced to remap the world in some way every time there’s a change in our lives. Connections that have opened the door to a reliable income and social capital have to be rerouted when we’re forced into a career change. Even how we identify with ourselves must be redefined when some aspect of ourselves that we once identified strongly with changes, such as an affinity for literature. I was once an intellectual and took great satisfaction in reading philosophy and thinking, analyzing and articulating my standpoint on abstract topics. I regularly wore three piece suits, smoked cigars and journaled. Then one day I got tired of reading and no longer cared to articulate myself philosophically or in any other context. I didn’t feel much like putting on a suit anymore, either. How now, then, could I continue to identify as an intellectual? Who am I, really? How do I define myself in terms of how I connect with the world?

Connections that used to mean safety, friendship and love are destroyed and redirected when friends or lovers fall out of our lives and close off the connection. “What is friendship?” we’ll begin to ask ourselves. “What is a meaningful relationship? How is it defined and what can reasonably be expected of it?” And so the re-routing goes as we navigate our way through what can seem like a hostile and changing world. The goal posts were once here. Now they are there. We were once confident and secure in our position, now it seems our position has changed…

“My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Please drop a comment and share what tools you’ve used in the past to navigate the changing nature of life. I’ve relied heavily on exercise, healthy diet and literature. I find that when I’m physically fit, I’m also in better shape mentally to deal with life’s ongoing obstacles. Also reading about others’ experience in dealing with change and adversity, loss or even tragedy is somewhat helpful. The examples and the context I paint may seem a little bit harsh or heavy for a blog post from a concrete company, but I believe these are issues we each have to deal with, each and every day.

Concrete is hard and the work is brutal and unforgiving. Most of the men in this field did not choose this as a career, but accepted it as a means to put food on the table and survive. It’s not a cushioned or convenient life. The man develops callous on his hands and in his heart as the aches, pains and poverty become a part of his existence. From out of this rugged life emerges a true grit and character that could have by no other means been acquired, and the man is truly developed. A man that is strong at heart and capable of providing for and protecting a family in any event. So hang in there, my fellow hard working men from down in the trenches, hang in there, and continue fighting the good fight! Remember that this world and everything in it, from the skyscrapers with tycoons in them that sit at the top, right down to the streets, shopping malls, nail salons and “independent women,” have never existed and never will exist, independently of a man’s grit. I salute you, hard working men who have remained strong in your places, even as the world and customs around us have changed.

Can you believe the very day that I am writing this blog about adapting to a changing world, I go for Chinese food after work and find this in my fortune cookie…

In conclusion, we are dynamic creatures capable of change and adaptation. We’ve been doing it for thousands of years, actually. As an old friend of mine, Kevin Samuels, once said, “Always be reinventing yourself, redefining yourself and stepping up your game. Be the upgrade.” Or, in the words of another old friend of mine,

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

― Bruce Lee

In today’s review we look at the Makita Power Drills. These are more affordable than most of the other big name brand power tools, yet they do not appear to be inferior in quality. Makita has been our main go-to on the jobsite and particularly the drills, in spite of going through some major abuse and neglect, have been reliable. They just keep right on going and the power holds up consistently over time. See our live product review here.

See the corresponding video to this blog below.